yesterday, i went to sonny and ney's place. and found several things that really surprised me. first of all, ney asked me to sing in his future poetry reading. so he gave me a copy of all of his poetry. one of his poetry has natalie portman in it. and i ove natalie portman a lot!! second ... well there's this illustration that sonny had been working on. and it turns out, on one of his illustrations, he used my body as a model. and it's so great!! i mean, i feel somewhat special. it actually shows my body from the back, naked. the only difference that there is, is that my hair is short. but the curls, well, you can tell that it's mine.

phew ... woke up in the morning and found out that my heart still confused. arrgghhh, i dont know what to do, to think, to feel. i didnt actually cried like what i told jedi. i guess, my heart cried. coz it feels so damn hurt. i think i've made a mistake, but i love him so dearly, even though he might not. but who can actually knows that for sure. while all i need in my life is ...

>>Hans Thomas says:
special....i think u shud feel special urself n not anyone can make u feel special unless u wanna b special urself
>>Hans Thomas says:
u get wat i mean dear?
:: InDy // Leave the gun, Bring the cannollis:: says:
yes

one problem that i have now is ... i become a person who doesn't know what she wants.

:: Foxy Lady // Jimi Hendrix ::

>>Hans Thomas says:
are u ok dear?
:: InDy // Leave the gun, Bring the cannollis:: says:
yes, i am
>>Hans Thomas says:
dont cry k
:: InDy // Leave the gun, Bring the cannollis:: says:
ok
>>Hans Thomas says:
its normal but wat i suggest rite now is for u to treasure him
>>Hans Thomas says:
treasure wat u haf now rather than hoping for wat u dont haf
:: InDy // Leave the gun, Bring the cannollis:: says:
ok
>>Hans Thomas says:
probably one day, he gonna realize who he really wanna be
>>Hans Thomas says:
it can b u
:: InDy // Leave the gun, Bring the cannollis:: says:
i hope so too
>>Hans Thomas says:
it can b separation but still dat doesnt mean u are not special
>>Hans Thomas says:
u are special always n even if not in his eyes, u are still special